This song kind of fits with my mood today.
After the
post from yesterday I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about why I felt this
way; my life wasn’t bad? Sure I’ve experienced some things that most people my
age haven’t. But everyone has their own demons. I’ve overcome so much but along
the way I’ve created a wall so high that I shut out a lot of things. I woke up
this morning and fell asleep again, I never have this. When I woke up again I decided
to go for a run to clear my mind. When I came back I felt drained. To be honest
I didn’t really do anything the whole day, except going for that run.
At one
point I felt lonely, why did I let it come to this? I keep shutting people out
when they get too close. My thoughts were all over the place today. I could’ve
done so much today but yet again, like the past few weeks I’ve spend it doing
barely nothing. Nothing with a meaning. I felt sorry for myself again. I need
to get out of this. But how…
The running
did help me, getting out of my room and ‘into the world’. It makes it sound
like I never leave my room, I do. But I like my own little space. I finally
have a place that I can call ‘home’. But I miss the people who need to be in
it. I don’t see my friends often because they live in a different city and have
their own busy life. I don’t have a job, which I’ve been looking for but I don’t
want to do something that makes me feel down even more.
Tomorrow I’m
going to see a friend of mine who I haven’t seen in a few months so that should
be good. I also need to actively go looking for a job again. For now I’m going
to call it an early night, make myself wake up early tomorrow, go do some yoga
and live.
+ went for
a run, thought about what I want to ‘change’ in my life
- didn’t
really do anything else, even though I had enough to do.
Quote of
the day:
“Everyone needs a rainy
day now and then. Even too much sun can leave us burned.”
Geen opmerkingen:
Een reactie posten